I don't want to grow up.

I was going to write an entry about how much I am going to miss this.

But it's too hard.

Like, way too hard.

I just hope that as I'm writing this, this feeling will stay with me... and when I go back and read this in a few years I will remember the way I feel now.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

I wish there were more hours in each day, I wish I were more motivated and I wish I had a million dollars.

Why THE FUCK do I OWE the City of Westerville $59.21 in taxes?!

FUCK THAT.

After uploading a picture of myself to a few of those websites that are supposed to tell you which celebrities you look like, I was informed that I most resemble the following celebrities:

- 5 or 6 different Asian actresses (surprise, surprise)
- Ben Affleck
- Mary-Kate Olsen
- David Duchovny
- Ali Landry
- Charlie Sheen
- ALAN GREENSPAN
- Mandy Moore

Those were the funniest ones...Alan Greenspan, srsly?




He looks like Mr. Magoo.

"I used to smoke five joints a day for 20 years." - Heath Ledger, 2006 "drug video" that was pulled before it aired on Entertainment Tonight.

Heath Ledger died when he was 28. In the video he was 26. That means from age six to age 26, Heath Ledger smoked roughly 36,500 joints.

-----

"A Turducken is a dish consisting of a partially de-boned turkey stuffed with a de-boned duck, which itself is stuffed with a small de-boned chicken. The name is a portmanteau of those ingredients: turkey, duck, and chicken." -Wikipedia

It's true. I grew up in 2007, or at least I think that's what this feeling is. Good and bad things happened this year. Good and bad things happen every year. That's life. I could write an entry about the ups and downs of '07, but that's not what celebrating the new year is about.

So I guess that's my new year's resolution - stop dwelling in the past, celebrate the present and look forward to the future.


I hope everyone in LJ-land has a fabulous year.

UPDATE: The last few weeks feel like a blur and all I want to do is sleep. My grandpa had his surgery- it went great, but now he has pneumonia... so I'm probably going to go home again tomorrow. My family is the most important thing in my life, but goddamn. I miss my life in Athens.

The finest of all the Columbus, Ohio suburbs-- Westerville is the rich man's Reynoldsburg and the blue-collar Dublin. Home to attractions such as the Anti-Saloon League Museum, the Hanby House and the world's largest crystal ball, it's hard to spend an idle day in a city so alive with opportunity. Westerville is conveniently located between Easton Town Center and Polaris Fashion Place. The uptown shopping district features poppin' spots such as Schneider's Bakery, Graeter's Ice Cream and Pasquale's Italian Kitchen. Simply unparalleled by neighboring suburbs, Westerville exudes laid-back sophistication.

Person 1: "Where are you from?"

Person 2: "Westerville."

Person 1: *bows down in the presence of glory*

Highlights from this weekend:

Becky and I went to see The Ataris at The Union. I bought Kris Roe a drank, sang a few bars of IOU One Galaxy, went on stage, got free drinks and hung out with the band after the show. Even though The Ataris' line-up is completely different than it was six years ago, they were still good live and the new guys were super cool. The whole experience is ranked up there with some of my other favorite shows.

Katryn and Julia came down on Friday. Julia went to a metal show with Roxana, and Katryn and I had a fabulous time at my friend Nicki's. We danced our asses off, and that's all that needs to be said about that.

Last night was my and Roxana's big birthday bash. Sunny ventured over, as did Andy and a good few of Roxana's friends. Hot damn. There was a shit ton of people here. I would be completely OK with not hosting a party like that for a long time. It was stressful. I feel like I didn't get to see or hang out with a lot of the people who came. There were a ton of random people here. I spent $130 on alcohol and we only made $10... I guess I should have whored out the tip jar a little more. Don't get me wrong, I had a great time and I think most the people who came had fun too... but I'm not sure if I want to make it a frequent or even a once-every-quarter thing. At least there wasn't much drama considering the wide range of people who attended.

Being 21 pretty much is everything it's cracked up to be. Drinking in bars (or at concerts) and being able to buy alcohol is fun. It's probably good for me and my wallet that I'm not really a big drinker, but it is fun nonetheless.

I miss my dogs and my family. I almost started to cry on Friday when this kid and I were talking about our dogs. I've gone through this every year I've been away from home, but I just really miss having contact with animals.

I'm coming home on Thursday for Katryn's birthday. I'm excited to be home for a whole weekend and not have to worry about any drama, school work or stress related to either of my jobs.

I'm also excited about the Rock of Love season finale in five minutes...

Did anyone else know Ohio University has the nickname, "O U didn't get into Miami?" Lolcats. You learn something new on urbandictionary.com every day. Here's the entry in its entirety:

A small GDI University lying in the shadows of the far superior Fratmosphere know as Miami University. Ohio University tends to be extremely overpopulated with multiple occurrences of douchebaggery through and around its liberal campus.
Students tend to have an array of American Eagle, Abercrombie and the dreaded Hollister apparel, typically strutting in cargo shorts that would inevitably make a Fratdaddy/Sorostitute's head explode. Usually referred to as "O U Didn't Get Into Miami" students flock to the University in an effort to consume plenty of libations while studying a weak curriculum preparing to work for some CEO who most likely attended Miami University, UVA, Johns Hopkins, Georgia, or Clemson.
Delusional of the schools reputation, students pride themselves in a once a year Halloween party that is seemingly disappearing from the radar, leaving OU off the map for any claim to fame they may have once had.

I was once amazed at the lack of frattabbing at Ohio University.

For the record, I didn't apply to Miami. Also for the record, it's 4:22 and I have given up on sleep for the night in lieu of studying for my first marketing exam/surfing urban dictionary/updating LJ.

Life has been overwhelming lately. It goes beyond being stressed out about school or moving or work- it's being stressed out about life. Like existence. Like eternity. Like forever. You know when you say a word like "the" over and over again and then it starts to sound strange? Well that's how I feel about life. I've been thinking about existence and life in general so much recently that it is starting to feel funny. Sometimes it feels funny to be alive. And it sucks. A lot.

I think that's why there's religion, right? You can think you have life figured out, but in reality no one really knows. So in order to not go from birth to death being scared shitless you're just going to cease to exist after death, you put faith in God or whoever or whatever that life is eternal. But what the fuck is eternal? What does that mean? If it means I spend eternity on some cloud inside the pearly gates, I say no thank you.

Sometimes I think you just keep living the same life over and over and over again (times infinity). That would suck. Right? But then you think about all the people you love and it's like, well if this is eternity than I'm OK with it.

I wish I could hop in the delorean and go back a few months before any of this bullshit started. I wish I could continue living my happy atheist life without ever being troubled with this God stuff. I know in the long run (aka the eternal run) that it's probably a good thing. But it's hard to see that now. Especially when I have bizarre dreams almost every night and frequent deja vu. I can't sleep. I have anxiety attacks.

I believe in God, or a higher power or whatever. I mean, we're alive. There is a universe. How did that happen? Seriously, how the fuck did that happen? The big bang? What about before that? Whether there is some dude with a beard or a spirit or God in a pantheistic way- I think something exists.

I have the believing part worked out, now I guess I have to work on the faith part. It would have been easier if I was raised in a religious home. Which religion should I chose? I have no idea. All I know is that I have to start having faith in something because sometimes I feel like the entire weight of existence is on my shoulders. And homey doesn't play that.

The one good thing about this whole fubar situation is that I've experienced a sort of revelation as far as doing something with my life. I want to lead a cleaner, healthier life from all aspects. I want to make a difference and do good in this world. I recognize that life, no matter what it is or how it became what it is, is a miracle--like, a magical, mystical miracle that I'll probably never figure out.

I have nothing else to say on this topic. I'm sick of thinking about it. I wish I could just turn off my brain, especially when it's time to go to sleep.

Life goes on. It really does. My dad goes to the dermatologist tomorrow and my grandpa is having his aneurysm operation on October 11. I've got to work on stress management.

10.24.07


Doodles' birthday AND the season premiere of Project Runway!!

dkfjdlkanmfgrfogfnjklndaldfkdlmfdl. can't sleep.

The Spice Girls are back together, and all is right in the world.

Calling two places "home" has it's ups and downs. The worst part about it is that wherever you are, it's possible to be homesick. I miss being in Athens and everyone there. It's almost 8 o'clock. I'm sitting ALONE in my bedroom, my parents are gone and I haven't had dinner yet. Goddamn, what happened to eating at five? Where is everyone? When I lived in the dorm, I got cranky because I never had alone time. Now I'm alone all the time, and it's just sad. Shouldn't we be playing Mario/watching TV right now?

I have been keeping busy though. My internship is perfect... although it would be nice if I was getting paid weekly. But I couldn't ask for a better experience. I've learned more in the last two weeks than I have in two years in college. That sounds cliched, but it couldn't be more true. I feel like a grown up. It's a ton of responsibility, but it also feels good to be counted on.

I'll be in Athens on Sunday to move some more stuff in/get my social security card. Apparently I need it for work? Oopsies.

You go, girl.

From thesuperficial.com:

So apparently Paris Hilton's medical condition was purely psychological and she was released from prison because she was in danger of having a nervous breakdown. TMZ reports:

Psychiatrist Charles Sophy visited Hilton in jail yesterday and the day before. We're told after Sophy's visit yesterday, word was passed to the Sheriff that Hilton's mental state was fragile and she was at risk. The reason for releasing her had nothing to do with a rash or other physical issues. It was purely in her head.

So the big medical reason that got Paris Hilton released was that she wasn't happy in prison. Which, I always thought, was sort of the whole point. Was she expecting to ride on unicorns and dance under waterfalls? It's fucking prison. I'm pretty sure the inmates who get daily anal rapings are pretty upset too, but nobody's letting them go home. The moral of the story is: if you're ever put in prison just put on a frowny face and they'll let you go. Oh, and make sure you're Paris Hilton. That last part's pretty important.


This is why I love the superficial.


So, I'm home. I'm exhausted. I got a $105 speeding ticket. Yeah.

I feel like writing more, but I'm so tired I'm surprised I've got this far.